Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
