Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
