The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
