how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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