Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
