I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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