That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
