She's JV to your varsity
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
