if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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