Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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