At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
bring money and cleavage
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize