the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
