Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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