She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
