My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
