At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
