I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
