the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
