i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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