no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i was born a porn star she said
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
