i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
dude. I can hear the air.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
