Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Randomize
