The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize