You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
