How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Your topless pictures make me question reality
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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