It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
