too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
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