Cold hands, warm shart.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
