spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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