they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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