we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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