I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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