Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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