Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Soap is not a condiment
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
