So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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