Me too!
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize