Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
