so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
