i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
