Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Randomize
