he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize