Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
