Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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