If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
