I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
