I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
