i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
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