Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
