Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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