the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I party with great urgency now.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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