please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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