I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
