I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
