I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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