It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
