how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
