how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize