Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize