Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize