i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
