Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
