this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Damn victory sex feels great
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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