wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
