Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
